


Late Night Thoughts

by OptimisticallyCynical



Series: Breaking The Hawk [44]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Hawk spends some time thinking, M/M, he might not come up with the best idea, or maybe he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29952276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticallyCynical/pseuds/OptimisticallyCynical
Summary: He’d known when Robby had first suggested asking for forgiveness it would end up being a bumpy ride. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that any of them would just forget everything that he’d done and moved on but...It still hurt.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Series: Breaking The Hawk [44]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103372
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	Late Night Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!   
> Had a fun time writing this chapter, there's no actual talking in it but it was still fun! :D  
> Hope you guys enjoy it! :D

_‘What the hell did I tell you!? To wait until I got back! And you couldn’t even do that!’_

The accusation scrapped against his mind as he sat on the couch in the dark, staring off into nothing.

_‘_ _I’m seriously disappointed in you kid.’_

Brows narrowed sharply over bright blue eyes, nails digging into the palms of white knuckled fists.

_‘I thought you would have been smarter than that.’_

Hawk swallowed down the frustrated screams that sat thickly in his throat, the pillow and blanket he’d taken from the room earlier sitting on the other side of the couch, completely untouched.

Everyone else had gone to bed hours ago. He was the only one who couldn’t seem to sleep.

Apparently no one else had an issue with it, even after everything that had happened today.

_‘_ _You can’t just go running off whenever you feel like it Hawk! I know you think you know better but that gives you no right to put them in danger as well!’_

Nails scrapped against his palms, scratching into something wet and viscous with every move. He was sure if he turned on the lights, he would see red dripping from his hands.

_‘_ _If they hadn’t tied my hands I could have dealt with them no problem.’_

Hawk didn’t dare take his eyes off of the ordainment that they had hanging on the far side of their wall. He was sure during the day it was some type of Japanese inspired decoration, however right now it looked like some type of morbid night demon.

He almost wished it was. Maybe it would jump off the wall and kill him.

_‘_ _Um, okay, right. Sure thing buddy. Not like that attitude hasn’t bitten you in the ass before.’_

The sarcasm still stung as he remembered those words, remembered the slight scoff that had been delivered with them. He didn’t even know if Demetri realized how condescending he sounded when he’d uttered them. As if the very idea of Hawk being able to handle himself was to far fetched to even consider.

_‘_ _I didn’t want you to get hurt.’_

And yet he had been. Both physically by the Cobras and mentally by Demetri. How could he not see that?

Remembering the soft look on his face, the sincerity dripping from those words.

Hawk’s stomach rolled.

_‘_ _I’m sorry.’_

Hawk hissed, one hand flicking out, the fingers curling and stretching as he went over the events of today again and again.

He’d known when Robby had first suggested asking for forgiveness it would end up being a bumpy ride. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that any of them would just forget everything that he’d done and moved on but...

It still hurt.

Daniel hadn’t even given it a second thought. He’d accused him the minute that they were back on the property. He’d thought that he would actually hurt Robby and Demetri to get away, thought that he would leave after Demetri made him promise to stay.

And Johnny...

He’d been hoping that the man would have taken his side. Would have explained to Daniel that he was a good kid even if he’d made some fucked up choices.

But he’d turned on him too.

He thought he was stupid enough to put his son in danger.

Robby was Daniel’s first student when he got back into teaching karate. Robby was Johnny’s only son. Demetri was Daniel’s first student after spending months trying to get other people to join him.

They were the people that the Senseis actually cared about.

Hawk was the monster they had to protect them from.

He thought that was funny.

Since they were the ones who couldn’t seem to stop hurting him.

Crossing his arms Hawk sunk further into the couch, his face still eerily neutral as his eyes stayed on the wall.

Why was he expecting anything different though?

Glancing at the clock Hawk noted the time.

Ten thirty.

Kreese had said twenty-three hundred.

...

He turned his attention back to the wall demon.

He knew that it was drawing closer and closer to the time that Kreese had given him, he knew that he shouldn’t have even been thinking about his offer, and yet...

What did he have to lose at this point?

None of ‘his teachers’ believed that he was worthy of a single doubt, why would Daniel or Johnny teach him if they thought that he would turn right around and use it to either drag Demetri and Robby into trouble or do something stupid?

But Kreese was willing to teach him, even after Hawk had beaten his students, twice might he add, and walked out on him.

Demetri would be disappointed.

Robby would be upset.

Hawk huffed at the thought of their faces and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling.

He could still remember watching Demetri’s back as he slowly left the house hours earlier. They hadn’t spoken a word after Hawk had finished dishing out at him and even at the time he wasn’t sure if he wanted him to continue to try and say something.

They would see each other again tomorrow though, and Hawk was sure by than his temper would be cooled enough that they might be able to hold a somewhat civil conversation. Although he’d have to wait and see how he felt tomorrow to know if that was true or not.

And than there was Robby.

He’d remembered Robby offering to give him some space and that he would sleep on the couch so Hawk could have the room to himself.

He supposed it was pretty telling when the first thought that popped into his mind was how much harder that would make it to get out of the house undetected if Robby was essentially guarding the front door.

Still, he hadn’t said a word to Robby either, stealing the blanket and pillow he was going to use and marching out of the room.

He liked Robby, he really did, but he’d been on Demetri’s side for this whole plan and Hawk was still plenty of bitter about that.

The people that he was supposed to trust most in the world had lied to him in the worst possible way.

He figured he was allowed to be pissed about it.

If he decided to train with Kreese and they found out, why should he care?

Sitting back up Hawk ignored the part of his brain that was hissing at him to stop pussyfooting around and to just leave already.

He really shouldn’t.

With how easily not only Daniel but Johnny had jumped straight to the conclusion that Hawk was to blame for the whole fiasco that had happened earlier, he didn’t need to be giving them anymore reason to be suspicious of him.

The accusations had stung. He had no idea why. He should have seen it coming. Since he’d been here he’d been nothing but a thorn in Daniel’s side. Running off, hiding, attacking him, he’d fucking bit him for god’s sake. What other idea could his mind have jumped to when he came home to an empty house, the guest room wrecked and blood everywhere?

That didn’t make it hurt any less though.

He knew that it was the conclusion that anyone who knew him when he was Hawk would draw. It only made sense. Demetri was normally to smart to go against direct orders and strike out mindlessly.

Honestly it had shocked Hawk at first with how easily Demetri had fallen for their trap. Wasn’t he supposed to be the smarter of the two? Wasn’t he constantly bragging about how much easier it was for him to pick up on these kinds of things than Hawk ever could?

What was that people said though? Love made people do stupid things?

Well Demetri must have loved him a whole hell of a lot than because he’d been a major fucking idiot today.

Hawk seethed silently to himself as the thought ripped through him in a wave of rage.

And than he paused as it really sunk in.

Was Demetri in love with him?

Regardless of what everyone seemed to think, Hawk wasn’t stupid, he knew that Demetri cared for him deeply and that he at least liked him a whole lot. They were dating so, duh.

But did that mean that he was actually in love with Hawk?

It was an idea he’d never thought much about, but maybe it could explain his extremely strange behaviour as of late, of why he’d been acting like such a loose lipped, simpleton who lashed out in anger almost as much as Hawk himself did.

Would that be to soon though?- or no, because they’d known each other since forever and switching to a more romantic type of love from a more platonic one was as easy as blinking?

Was Hawk in love with Demetri?

Having the question turned on him even in his own mind made his face flush hotly, his lips twisting as he curled his shoulders up to his ears.

He didn’t want to think about that right now. He was still pissed at Demetri.

Besides, he still had thoughts to sort out before he made his final decision, even if he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

So he pushed the thought away to go over some other time and turned back to the main task of tonight.

If he did decided to go, if they did find out... what would they really do?

The first time he’d fallen under Kreese’s ‘trap’, so to speak, it had been because the man had wandered in under the good word of Johnny and had taken over so carefully no one even realized that it had happened until Hawk found himself getting ready to beat his old teacher in defence of his new one.

If he went there now, it would just be proving what a lost cause he was. Confirming the idea that everyone had that he was some sort of wild card that couldn’t be trusted and needed to either be watched constantly, or be locked up somewhere.

Would it really be so bad though?

Apparently they already thought he **was** a lost cause, maybe Hawk was just meant to be trained by the original Cobra Kai teacher.

Besides, Kreese didn’t want him to **join** Cobra Kai. He was allowing Hawk to go there after hours in the dead of night so that he wouldn’t have to be around his other students. He just wanted to teach Hawk how to make himself a better fighter. Was that such a bad thing? Wasn’t that what they were all there for anyways? Wasn’t that why they were learning?

Not everyone's lessons worked the same way for people. Miguel loved and swore by Johnny’s teachings, Demetri had no interest in really taking karate seriously until Mr LaRusso had decided to teach it in a different way to help him wrap his mind around it.

What if the way that Kreese taught was just better for Hawk?

Could they really blame him if he just wanted to learn in the way that was best for him?

He’d never understood Johnny’s way of teaching. He got the moves down yeah, but he’d always struggled with the more ambiguous ideas and lessons behind it.

The few times when he’d asked Robby what he’d learned from Daniel’s lessons, not much made sense there either.

_‘_ _I’m not a monster. I just have a different way of looking at the world.’_

Kreese’s words floated through his head like a gently lapping wave.

Bringing his arm up over his face Hawk let out a heavy and yet soundless sigh as he went over the problem for the billionth time since it had been offered.

What if... what if he did a bit of everything?

What if he learned from Kreese at night, did Mr LaRusso’s weird inner peace things and also tried to listen to Mr Lawrence’s new philosophy on when they were supposed to fight?

The idea of trying to understand all three ways of teaching was a daunting thought and already he could feel a mild headache working up at his temples, Hawk grimacing to so much as entertain it.

He had a hard enough time understanding one, let along all three. Wouldn’t he just be setting himself up for failure in the end?

Or... could that actually work?

What if he just picked and chose what he thought would work and what didn’t make any sense at all? He could just take the best, most useful information from all three and than leave everything else where it was.

That didn’t sound so bad.

Sitting up straighter Hawk mulled the idea over a bit, finding that he liked it more and more every time he looked at it from a new angle.

That might... actually work.

Hawk quickly made his way to the front door and scooped up his shoes, his new excitement turning through him with every thought.

Even if Daniel and Johnny did catch him at some point, if he could explain his idea behind it, they would have to be okay with that right? He was learning, and that was something that they wanted him to do, and if wasn’t just listening to Kreese, but actually taking their lessons to heart as well, didn’t everyone win?

Soundlessly slipping through the door Hawk took a seat on the front step and slid his shoes on, energy thrumming through his veins as he pushed himself back up to his feet.

Walking over to his motorcycle- he’d had his keys in his pocket the whole time just in case- Hawk grabbed a hold of the handles and started to push it the long way down the driveway.

This plan might have been crazy but even he wasn’t insane enough to think he’d be able to get away with it long if he just ripped right out of the driveway like the sound wouldn’t wake them immediately.

It was odd. He felt like he should be freaking out right now. The thought of being caught doing what he was doing and disappointing everyone who’d said they were on his side should have filled him with enough shame to have him turning around and marching back to the house, maybe even coming clean and telling Robby or Mr LaRusso what his Sensei had spoken about.

Yet, all he could feel was the small build up of excitement spreading through him at the thought of getting started. He could almost see the pride he was sure would show up in Kreese’s face once he walked through the door.

As he reached the end of the road Hawk hopped up on his bike, wasting no time in zipping along the empty street, feeling lighter than he had in a long time.


End file.
